I’m glad you’re here
For twenty-five years, I’ve sat with couples who care deeply about each other but keep getting pulled into the same painful conversations.
Some arrive after years of distance. Others come in the middle of constant conflict, emotional exhaustion, resentment, or the quiet realization that something important between them has started slipping away.
Most couples are not fighting about one moment. They’re reacting to years of missed conversations, assumptions, pressure, loneliness, disappointment, or feeling emotionally unseen.
My role is not to decide who’s right. It’s to help you understand the pattern the two of you keep getting pulled into, and create a different way of relating inside it.
What makes my work different
I’ve watched thousands of relationship patterns
Leading therapy groups changed the way I listen.
I watch how people actually relate in real time. I see the pause before someone asks for what they need. The flinch nobody mentions. The retreat that looks calm but is actually a disconnection.
This shapes how I work with couples. I don’t just hear about your pattern. I see it unfold between you in the session, and I can often name it before it derails you again.
I track the pattern underneath
Couples usually already know the content of the argument. What they often cannot see clearly is the sequence underneath it.
Who pursues. Who shuts down. Who overexplains. Who stops asking. The moment defensiveness enters. The place where fear disguises itself as anger, criticism, withdrawal, or silence.
My role is to help you recognize the pattern while it’s happening, so the two of you can respond differently to it.
I train other therapists
For eighteen years, I’ve trained master ‘s-level therapists at Pepperdine University. Other therapists learn from me how to do relational work. That means I’m constantly refining my approach and explaining why techniques work, not just using them.
My integrative approach
1
Relational Lens
Problems rarely live entirely inside one person. We look at the dynamic between you, including the pauses, assumptions, reactions, and unspoken rules shaping the relationship
2
Attachment Style
We identify the protective moves each of you automatically makes under stress. Pursuing. Withdrawing. Defending. Overexplaining. Shutting down.
3
Systems Context
Kids, careers, extended family, grief, health issues, finances, and cultural expectations all affect relationships. We work within real life, not outside it.
4
Communication
We slow conversations down enough to understand what is actually happening underneath them. Tone, timing, posture, defensiveness, fear, and emotional meaning all matter.
5
Practical Movement
Insight matters, but relationships change through lived experience. Sessions often end with one concrete shift, experiment, or conversation to practice before we meet again. It will be your “what went well.”
This work fits you if…
- You’re tired of the same fight on repeat
- You want practical changes, not just “we’ve talked about it.”
- You’re willing to look at your own pattern, not just your partner’s patterns
- You need someone who sees both of you clearly without choosing sides
GETTING STARTED
Most couples wait longer than they wanted to before reaching out.
A brief consultation gives up space to talk about what’s happened, what you’ve already tried, and whether my approach feels like the right fit for both of you.
Book a free 15-minute consultation—phone or Zoom—to see if you’d like to move forward.