After an Affair Counseling
Discovering the Affair/Infidelity
I understand that discovering your partner has had a physical or emotional affair is devastating. You may feel that your entire world has been turned upside down, and emotions such as rage, confusion, sadness, and depression are overwhelming. These reactions are natural and normal when faced with a commitment break-up or the realization that your partner was seeing someone else behind your back.
When one partner discovers that the other has had or is having an affair, the initial shock can be accompanied by a sickening feeling in your heart and stomach. You may also have difficulty sleeping, eating, parenting, working, or participating in your normal daily activities. The thought of leaving your spouse or partner may cross your mind as you wonder if you will ever get past this pain.
Coping with Infidelity
After discovering the affair and seeking answers from your partner, you might now have details you wish you didn’t. Intrusive images and distressing emotions can make it difficult to even look at your partner. You may start questioning how you both ended up in this situation and feel overwhelmed by the realization that cheating has occurred in your relationship.
For the partner who engaged in the affair, feelings of shame, guilt, sadness, and regret can be overwhelming. You might wish you could erase what happened and struggle to understand how things went so far. Perhaps you were unhappy and felt lonely in the relationship, but now realize that you want to heal and rebuild rather than end the relationship.
Coping with infidelity is a confusing, exhausting, and painful experience for both partners. Many couples feel uncertain about what to do next and may avoid reaching out to family or friends for fear of judgment, rejection, or conflicting advice.
You are Not Alone!
Infidelity remains a significant issue affecting many relationships, with approximately 20% of men and 13% of women admitting to extramarital affairs. The rise of online platforms has facilitated both physical and emotional cheating, contributing to these statistics. Despite a considerable number of infidelities going undetected, many cheaters eventually confess due to guilt, leading to various outcomes, including a high rate of divorce.
The complexities of infidelity highlight the need for open communication and trust within relationships to navigate and potentially mitigate these challenges. These insights underscore the profound impact infidelity can have on individuals and their relationships, emphasizing the importance of addressing underlying issues to maintain a healthy partnership
The Path Towards Healing and Recovery
An affair is a relationship trauma that affects self-esteem, trust, and confidence. It can provoke feelings of hurt, shame, betrayal, and other painful emotions. As an experienced therapist, I can help you recover from the pain caused by the affair. Through therapeutic conversations and resources, we will work to reestablish trust, love, and respect in your relationship.
We will identify the underlying causes that led to the infidelity and share effective strategies to change those dynamics. This personal experience requires honesty and trust from both partners. Together, we can work towards a happy, committed relationship once again.
Growing Back Together Is Possible
We will agree upon boundaries and guidelines for discussing events related to the affair. Although things may feel painful or impossible right now, if both partners are engaged in the therapeutic process, we can work through the pain and build on the strengths in your relationship.
I utilize Positive Psychology, Solution-Focused, and other empirically validated methods to bring lasting, positive change. With the guidance and support of an experienced and compassionate therapist, you and your partner can nurture well-being and build relationship happiness.
While the affair will never completely disappear from your relationship’s history, healing and recovery are possible. Together, we can rebuild your life, strengthen your bond, and create a better future.
