When Trust Shatters
Discovering a partner’s affair—emotional, physical, or online—can feel like the floor disappears. Rage, shock, grief, and numbness often show up as uninvited houseguests all at once. Sleeping, eating, parenting, and even answering emails may feel impossible. If you’re in that swirl, know this: your reaction is a normal response to an extraordinary rupture.
My Commitment
Affair repair demands courage on both sides—courage to own harm, sit with hurt, and risk hope. I bring clear structure, steady compassion, and research-backed tools from relational, positive-psychology, and solution-focused models. Whether you ultimately recommit or part ways, my aim is the same: clarity, Integrity, and a forward path you can both stand behind.
Two Navigable Paths for Counseling
Think of affair as arriving at a fork on your road together
| One Foot In — Discernment | Two Feet In — Full Rebuild |
| Short-term (≈ 3-5 sessions). Clarify what the affair meant, surface non-negotiables, and decide yes/no /not yet. | It’s a long-arc journey: trauma-informed healing for the betrayed partner, accountability and empathy work for the involved partner, trust-building rituals, and intimacy re-weave. |
Couples often move along this continuum and it is my job to meet you where you are without pressure, just guidance.
What to Expect in Session
Clarity isn’t linear. If you shift from Discernment to Rebuild… or conclude that respectful separation is healthiest, our map will pivot together.
- Conversation, not interrogation. I hold the neutral ground so anger and grief can be understood.
- Trauma-sensitive pacing. We move as quickly as the most-injured partner’s nervous system can handle.
- Strength leverage. We’ll remember what once worked to help build what can work again.
Support for Each Partner
If you were betrayed
- Validate feelings, including rage, grief, and confusion, without self-judgment.
- Guard your sleep, nutrition, and support network.
- Give yourself breathing room before life-altering decisions.
If you broke the trust
- Take full ownership—no “reasons,” no deflecting.
- Offer steady transparency and authentic empathy for the pain caused.
- Commit to uncovering why it happened; don’t just patch the leak.
Our Three-Phrase Roadmap
- Map the Before
- Surface patterns and blind spots that weakened the bond pre-affair.
- Name the unheard needs on both sides, context, not excuses.
- Establish emotional safety for deep excavation.
- Dissect the During
- Honest, trauma-sensitive disclosure: clear timeline, all questions answered.
- Emotion-wise dialogue—speak pain without weaponizing it, listen beneath the defense.
- Initial trust scaffolding to stabilize daily life.
- Build the After
- Design durable trust habits, boundaries, and rituals.
- Rekindle emotional and physical intimacy at a pace both bodies can handle.
- Craft a shared vision that aims beyond “back to normal” toward a stronger, wiser, future-proofed future.
